I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
