Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
