My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
