is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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