Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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