honey bunches of taint.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
