Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
