he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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