Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
