Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
