i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
