I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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