i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
