you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
