What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
