Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize