Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
