He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
