I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
