So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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