hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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