remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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