I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
