Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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