The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
