he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
