You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm like, not good at living.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
