Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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