Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
