god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
