by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
