i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
