Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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