So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
