Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
