idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
