Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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