It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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