I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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