Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
