I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
