I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
