How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
