why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
