So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
