There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
