What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
