Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
