dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I showed him my bush... on skype.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just blew my weed a kiss
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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