He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
