If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
