I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
