I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
