I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
