Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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