he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
