a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
